raptureofthemoon: (Default)
So, it's been about a year since I wrote anything here.

Don't worry. You haven't missed much.

My previous employer finally crashed. I received a small check last September. No word on work until December. By that time, I'd filed for unemployment and was then, officially, off the payroll. I completed a job for them (as a contractor) from about mid December to March. It's still not fully completed/paid up, so I don't have a check for that final bit of work yet. (I get in contact with the PM every couple of weeks.)

I worked another contract job for a former coworker from May to July. I'm really hoping he might be able to get me on full time come the new year, but I'm not counting my chickens. 

To top it off, the Knoxville job market fucking sucks for my industry. In the event that there is a job that speaks to me, I'm sure there are twenty other people applying for it. 

I spent this afternoon at a temp agency; I'm hoping for at least some part time work so I can get something coming in. I'm going to drop an e-mail to another agency contact I made back in the spring. And I have a few jobs saved to apply for this week. 

Luckily, Matt's job is good and steady and *knocks on wood* doesn't look like it's going anywhere. 

So, yeah. While I'm good at getting on with things (and Matt's encouraging me not to worry about money), I'm under a constant miasma of stress. I can bury it for the most part, but it's still there. 

So, that is what it is. 

In other news: 

I've gotten into the Supernatural fandom. (What took me so long?) If you're interested in fannish works, you can visit my Tumblr: Ilcuoreardendo-fic

I spent some time down in St. Augustine at the end of July. That was beautiful. I need to live on the coast....

And I'm gearing up for a potential NaNo 2013 participation. I used to have some of you LiveJournalers as writing buddies. I've since changed my name. You can find me here, if you're so inclined: Sangetencre

And that's about it. 

I guess I'll see you next year....
raptureofthemoon: (drink early)
Despite the fact that it's Tuesday.

Tomorrow, I "go back to work" after two weeks off. I put the phrase in quotes because, well, I don't actually go anywhere with the whole working-from-home thing. Hell, some days, I'm lucky I make it out of my pajamas. (Maybe I should have made a New Year's resolution regarding getting dressed everyday...)

Regardless, it still drops me into the typical Sunday-mood, lamenting the end of my time off.

I think it's exacerbated this time around since I've been sick since the 24th and spent most of this last week on the couch, drinking tea and Theraflu and trying to avoid coughing fits, so I haven't done anything I thought I might do while having time off.

Hell, I should be honest with myself. I probably wouldn't have gotten much done even if I hadn't felt like a used tissue (ragged and snotty) most of the time. The fact is, I usually am more creatively productive when I have other (mundane, daily) obligations poking at me. (It stems partly from some internal juvenile rebellion I never managed to shake.)

I do this to myself after every scheduled vacation. Lament the end of it, bemoan having to go back to work, console myself with my Furlough Fridays and the slow procession of us gaining new projects (a double edged sword; I'd take the shitloads of work over having no income, of course), which means I have additional time--to myself--to get to the things I didn't get to during my vacation.

So, with that in mind, I'm setting a goal, for this Friday, of making the last few tweaks to an old short story I just had my new writers group critique; I doubt it'll go out this weekend, but it needs to be readied.

Beyond that, I'm going to get back in the groove of scribbling in my impossible things journal, responding to writing prompts over in the blogspot community, and continuing on with drafting vignettes for Dispatches from New Vegas.
raptureofthemoon: (scream and cry)
I went to bed and to sleep around 10:00.

And what happens?

I pop wide awake at 12:30 and I'm still freaking up...

Attempted to type some NaNo stuff (admittedly, I'm half assing a short story collection with a theme of 'tween places; half assing might even be too generous a term) and found myself more annoyed than usual with the crap!first draft, spurred in part, probably by the frustration of not being able to get back to sleep. (It threw me into one of those "I can't write worth shit" spins, in fact.). So I just let it be.

It's 20 to 4....I'd really like to sleep.
raptureofthemoon: (Default)
I used to blog all the damned time. I had so much to say. You couldn't shut me up.

But over the past six months, it seems like the well has dried up. (The floor is cracking and the stones are crumbling.)

Is it because I started asking myself if people were getting tired of hearing my rants and rambles on politics? Or did I start questioning whether anyone was really interested in reading the day-to-day antics of my life? (And since when did I worry about whether other people were taken with what I was posting, anyway?)

Or maybe a feeling of general apathy seeped in when I wasn't looking?

On further reflection, it's likely a combination of all of those things and one other...

Between writing for my day job, which is sometimes boring, sometimes laborious, sometimes interesting, but almost always technical; writing original fiction when I've the mind to do it (the unfinished projects just keep piling up, but I'm trying to make headway on editing a finished short and getting another short into a completed first draft); getting back into fanfiction (curse you Star Trek XI and Heroes); and trying to think of something to do with my other blog space, I think I suffered a kind of verbal burn out.

I guess it shouldn't come as much of a surprise. I've been writing at Livejournal since the fall of 2001. Near daily. For over 9 years.

That's a lot of words.

And lot of time devoted to one space. Which is why I feel slightly bereft when I think of how little time I've spent on said space, of late.

But, frankly, I don't see that changing. Not anytime in the near future. So, I'm going to let the bereft feeling go and just keep moving on with what writing I am doing.

Of late, that would be:

Original work on some short fiction, which I'm not sharing anywhere....

Prompt responses over at Deviantart: Company in Death

Some Six Sentence Flash fictions: Walking the Aisle

Chaotically Yours blog posts: Feminism Fridays: Fictional Heroes — Ellen Ripley

Numerous pieces of short fanfiction which you can find at ilcuoreardendo and (soon to be) its Dreamwidth mirror [personal profile] ilcuoreardendo.

As to that last piece, you'll notice that this post has been crossposted from Dreamwidth. I thought I'd try my hand at transitioning some space over there. Particularly with the way some Livejournal politics have gone lately, I think Dreamwidth's stated mission of "open source, open expression, open operation" feels a bit more comfortable.

But, I'm not bailing totally; I'm still clinging to the sides of this ship, with some rope tangled around my arm, occasionally wailing.


raptureofthemoon: (Default)
dreaming through the noise

September 2015

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