Dreaming through the noise.

Halloween was a moderate success. This year we gave out the small Tony's Chocolonely bars, ring pops and a mix of toys: plush spiders, bouncy balls shaped like bats and Halloween themed rubber ducks. The toys were a big hit. The chocolate...I think a lot of kids didn't realize it was there, even when pointed out. The ring pops were popular last year, mostly among the teenagers, of which we had fewer this year. Next year, I might do small grab bags and have the kids pick a toy. 

By 8 p.m., we'd had what seemed to be the last trick or treaters, but as always we left the candy on the table so whoever might come by late could take what they wanted. We expect someone to make off with all the candy - that's fine. But this year...they also made off with the bowl the candy was in. Little shits. Take the candy, I don't care. Just leave the bowl. 

Next year, I'll be using a cardboard box. 

Saturday, November 1st. Samhain, still. Dia de los Muertos. All Saints Day. And the annual Halloween party. I always end up lazy by the end of October and whatever ideas I had for costumes have either gone out the proverbial window or have just not been acted upon, so I threw on some green eye shadow and glitter, green lipstick, a set of horns, spiderweb arm warmers and called myself a dark fairy who'd lost her wings.

Making up the night were food, sweets and old horror movies playing in the background. I finally watched Carnival of Souls all the way through. (I'd tried once, years ago, when I was a teenager, and couldn't hang with the pacing.) 

Sunday, November 2nd. I did not realize it was the shift back to standard time until I woke up at 10 to 7 wondering why it was so bright outside. So I've been an hour off since yesterday morning. The "fall back" is definitely easier on the system than the "spring forward," but I'm still loopy and groggy and would rather we just stopped with the time changing nonsense. 

Tomorrow, I have to go into the office for a Division meeting/my quarterly "in office" time. There's a lunch pot luck, which means I need to bake this afternoon. 

I think today is going to be a wash on the work front. There are two meetings mid-day and I am struggling to get my brain moving. It's already 9:30. Luckily, I finished the work I needed to get done (in order to pass a storyboard off to our vendor) last week, so I'm back to "updates and tweaks" mode for our course catalog. Meaning, if I drag for the next couple of days, no one is really going to care. 

Yay.

Busy at work again. It's not a steady busyness, it's a scattered busyness. Too many projects in too many areas in too many languages, all which need finalizing or touch ups (from important content to cosmetic) interspersed with doing interviews this week and last, and it just becomes so much white noise in my head.  

It's my least favorite thing about the work I do, where I do it. This type of busyness. It bleeds into my life outside of work. It keeps my mind spinning in preparation for the next day, the next week. 

Which is why I'm here, writing this entry, trying to steal back a little steadiness. But loading up this journal was also a reminder that I got sidetracked from the last moment I spent here. When I selected "post" I was confronted with my unfinished entry I started last Friday. So I'll finish it now. 


Fromthefridayfive

1. ... things you can't live without.

Time to myself.

I'm not only an introvert, but I'm also an only child. I grew up very good at entertaining myself and being comfortable in my own company. Even in my 40s, I'm still working hard to find a balance between relationships with others and my relationship with myself. How much time do I exert outward? How much time inward? 


2. ... of the best moments in your life.

Part of me wants to say the day I got married... But it's not so much the day I got married as that brief, intangible moment when it settled in me that I'd found someone I wanted to partner with in life. My husband and I have been together for 22 years. We moved in together after four years of dating (once I'd graduated college). Sometime in between that fourth year and the eighth (when we got married), came that moment. 

Another best moment is seemingly surface level but there's hidden depth. For my high school graduation present, my parents took me to San Antonio to see The Phantom of the Opera at the Majestic Theatre. I dragged my best friend along with me. San Antonio itself was fun to explore but the Majestic was beautiful. And the musical? Well, I'd been listening to the original cast soundtrack for two or three years at that point, so I knew the thing by heart but I fell in love all over again hearing and seeing Ted Keegan as the Phantom. 


3. ... celebrities you can't stand.


Right wing conservative podcasters/influencers. I don't think I need to delineate. They're all white cloth cutouts.


4. ... books you enjoy(ed) reading.

There are so many to choose from, but I'll pull a few from my top tier list of books I often reread.

Poppy Z. Brite's (Billy Martin) Lost Souls for its poetic language and new to me, at least, take on vampires. 

Patricia McKillip's (RIP) Something Rich and Strange written for the Froud Faerielands series, which I first read when I was maybe 12 or 13 and which left an indelible mark with the use of language and the ecological themes. 

Peter S. Beagle's Tamsin for its prose, his characterization of teen girls with cat best friends and the beautiful and hauntingly fun story. 

Susan Kay's Phantom for taking what was a somewhat flat ghost story and spinning it into a gothic tale of grief, loss, love.


5. ... items in your purse/backpack/on your desk.

In my purse, which is a medium sized messenger bag, I have the expected: my wallet, my keys. 

There are a small handful of errant pens (because one never knows when one needs to write longhand).

When I'm actually leaving my house, into the bag goes my phone, and either a physical book or a notebook of some type or my Remarkable tablet, depending on what medium I feel like writing in.