Dreaming through the noise.

My supervisor organized a flower delivery. She is right in that the Division has a soft spot for fur babies. 

With the added bouquet, we have quite a few lovely flowers on our table.

The bouquet on the right, with the yellow lilies is one I bought last Tuesday. I wanted something bright in the house. The small bouquet in the middle with the daisies, frothy white flowers and sunflower is what Dr. L brought with her Wednesday. 

I think I'm going to keep getting flowers for the table. At least somewhat regularly. 

Today was the day I was going to buckle down and start plugging images into my storyboard so I can hand it off to the vendor (hopefully) by the end of this week. 

But with the AWS outage, I can't access Adobe Stock with any sort of reliability. Which means, I can't complete this storyboard. I guess I can just go through and slap in the slide template numbers. And then work  on accessibility on another set of courses (though I'd be loathe to publish them, given that software is also cloud based and uses AWS.) 

This is all so...stupid. 

(There's an advertisement with a picture of George W. Bush taking up the right half of my screen. This is disturbing to me.)

My Livejournal is feeling neglected.

I pulled back on writing in it a while ago because I was doing a lot of social commentary posts and, while interesting, sometimes it just felt like it was too much of one topic. (And too much venting with regard to politics.)

And, you know, sometimes I just want to stop thinking about society.

Obviously, those of you on my Facebook feed know how well that works considering the daily links and quotes I tend to post. I haven't gotten away from social commentary, I've just moved to limited-word status updates...which are sometimes more trouble than not. *eyeroll*

Oh, whatever.

What's going on in my world?

I have been posting a lot in the way of fanfiction the last couple of weeks. (ilcuoreardendo) Because it makes me happy. And gives my brain an outlet when I can't and/or don't want to work on other things.

ON the original fiction front: I just dug up, again, my 31 word prompt list I'd been using over on DA and am going to make attempts to finish off the prompt responses by/before Thanksgiving. (The prompts are focused on my Affectation universe. ...I have got to start trying to untangle the plot for that thing. And maybe I can get a short story or two out of the characters...)

Not even going to mention the other original writing projects that are swirling around, well, except for the short story "Drawing Shadows," which I still haven't finalized after some restructuring...

I'm really thinking it might end up homeless. I'm willing to send it off to various publications on the off chance it might get picked up, but I'm not sure it fits readily into any market. It's kind of literary, kind of fantasy, kind of horror, kind of love story -- so...speculative, technically, but when I read other people's work in publications I'm thinking of submitting to, I can't help but think "this doesn't belong."

So...always a possibility that it's chances of publication are very limited. Which isn't a bad thing. I try to write for myself, not others. But at the same time, it's the one short story (I'm not counting flash fiction) that I have finished, so it can be a little disheartening to watch as it's constantly rejected.

Gah.

Um. Work is work. Still have a job. Still on four day work weeks. Have a sneaking suspicion people are trying to groom me to have more project management skills. (Skills are fine, but I don't want to be a PM. Thank you, no.)


Been keeping up with the Islamaphobia and mosque debacles going on across the nation and in my own back yard.

Matt and I went down to the candlelight vigil--held at the Rutherford Co. Court House last Monday (organized by the people who started Middle Tennesseans For Religious Freedom (MTRF))--which was set up to both show support for the mosque (and first amendment rights and to condemn the arson that took place at the construction site.

I think we're going to go to the Rutherford Co. commission meeting on September 16th, as well. (I can probably work from home that day to ensure I don't have to worry about traffic issues making me late....) The mosque isn't actually on the agenda for the meeting, but the anti-mosque protesters will be there and are planning to speak on the topic. The MTRF group wanted a good showing to counter the anti-mosque group and MTRF also has members who are planning to speak. (And hopefully they'll get a chance to this time. Last time they got shafted.)



And that's the nutshell.


It is now 12 a.m. I had a two hour nap earlier and since I'm working from home tomorrow (and thus don't have to worry about being groggy while driving) I think I'm going to go play in fiction.

I spent the last 20 minutes at work double tasking. Headset on for a brief conference call, for which I actually managed to take a few notes and make a few statements that consisted of things more intelligent than "Um" or "Ah" all the while finishing up some changes to a script in order to get it back to the project lead before I skeedaddled for the day.

Traffic heading home was a bit bonkers. Though, I've seen worse.

I was rushing a bit to make it home by 4:00 so that I'd have a little time to clean up before Matt and I met mom, dad, and Eddie and Kim who'd come down from Indi. to pick up Roger (Kim's son) tomorrow.

We met at Buster's, this little biker-hangout looking burger joint, and I think I filled my red meat quota for the next four months or so.

I don't buy red meat much anymore because we cut down on it a year or so back.

Nowadays, I actually have a problem cooking ground beef. The look of it is just...like so much brain matter. Gross. And I hate the greyish color it takes on before you season it. (Really, I had to stop myself from thinking about this earlier, because the thought of the hamburger I'd just eaten was beginning to not be so pleasant.) I deal much better with solid cuts of meat like steaks or stew beef.

I haven't cut it completely from my diet...out of sheer laziness for one. For another, I experience the occasional red meat craving. Likely an iron deficiency. (Since I tend to get it, most often, just after my period has come and gone.) I take a multi-vitamin. Maybe I need a couple more pieces of cast-iron cookware...

I'm wondering if I can push myself to a more pesceterian diet. (As of right now, probably 99% of the meat I consume consists of chicken and fish / shellfish.)


I need to go through my cookbooks and pull out some more delicious and quick veg centered recipes.

Maybe that's what I'll do right now since it's getting late, I'm feeling brain-loggy, and the coffee doesn't appear like it will be kicking in anytime soon.

I have a wooden box that yearns (yearns I tell you!) to be filled with recipe cards.

And I'm enough of a freak that the idea of organizing theses things sounds nice and meditative.


And maybe I'll wind up using an index card to write really short story.

They're getting spayed today.

I'm having that "feeling like a terrible parent" moment.

They sounded so sad.


It's a total Monday.

I hate Mondays.


Mom and dad are back in Chattanooga. Steve went into the Hospice Unit on Sunday. I've got to run by and check on the girls in Smyrna this afternoon. (Matt's picking up our girls around 3:30 or so.)

I canceled my GYN appointment. It's just not the right time of month and there's too much shit going on; I don't need the added stress. Was going to re-schedule but my doctor's booked through year's end; I told the appointment nurse to just call me when booking for January opened up.


I want this day over with.

I feel like I'm about to jump out of my damned skin.


I need to be doing something aside from sitting behind a desk. Maybe I should ask D if she needs the warehouse cleaned...

Why was I thinking they didn't?

Must have misread...

So, I guess that's a nudge to my brain to hop on the other markets research. My submission is still "in process" (and we're getting close to week 12 of a "no more than 16 weeks" response time, so...). Thought I would have heard from them by now. Gah.

I'm tired... I'm cold. I woke up to the alarm this morning and seriously thought about taking a sick day, then remembered I have things to do at work (damn it) and should really save my sick days because this flu season is going to be a bad one and I don't expect to come out of it unscathed...

So I'm here.


I am going to try to slide out early-ish tomorrow (with the excuse of "errands" on the sign out sheet) so I don't have to make the drive to Chattanooga in the dark and rush hour.


I think I'm starting to feel the sense of boredom and "oh, a new day, just like all the others..." that I started to get on approaching 7 years in Phoenix.

That's not good...

It can leave me with rather severe apathy (at best).

Road trips help counter it.

But they don't fix it.


This morning, I had a moment where I seriously considered bypassing my work exit and continuing up I24, jumping on I65 and just going...past Nashville, past Louisville....onward. To Indi or Chicago or whatever.

Didn't do it, obviously.


Hmmmmm. Crap.

I need to consider more weekend trips/drives if I want to stave off the apathy.


I think some of the apathy is coming from my refusing to read or watch much in the way of news, lately. I just can't do it right now. It fucks with my creative sphere. A few times this week, I've given a cursory read to some blogs and news sites, but that's it. Nothing in depth.

I have to make myself not get invested in it.

I can either read current events and write analytical blog posts.....or I can write creatively.

I can't seem to balance both. The former always runs rough shod over the latter.

Maybe I just need to mentally plan for some "off" periods where I am reading and writing about news and am thus excused from not paying much attention to my characters? Well, so long as those "off" periods come with time constraints.

How do I love thee, let me count the ways. (I used to have a Garfield shirt that said "Living for the weekend!" I now know the truth behind those words. Though I try to enjoy my weeks as well.)

Work is work. I don't like it much right now. It's in the "blehs." Slow. Some projects. Not very into the one I'll be working on. It's been a pain in the ass from the beginning. And it still hasn't fully gotten under way.

On the creative side of things, I've been flexing my writing muscle with little 50 word ficlets over on deviantart. They're short enough that I could stand to fit in a handful or more throughout the work day. I've a few more I want to write for the prompt: savage.

This week I've also been poking at a couple of random slices of fiction. One from the 24 Hour Prompt Chart (specifically, 4 a.m.), which is post-apocalyptic in theme and written in 2nd person (not something I usually do). The other is branching off from a piece of random dialogue I had filter through my brain some time back. And it's taking on a beauty of the beast kind of vibe.

Haven't done much more with the short story that bubbled up a few weekends ago. That's also on my plate for this weekend. I think I've got my form figured out for the most part--there's some lengthy flashing back, so it's boggled my mind a little how to get through smooth transitions. Will probably still need changing as I continue. For the most part, I know the story from beginning to end, which is a nice change of pace.

This weekend, I think I'll also set myself a goal of firming up possible submission of one or two of my flash fiction pieces. I'd like to have something else out there percolating as I wait for word on the Glimmertrain submission.


In other news...this picture makes me really happy. (Like, sit here with a Cheshire grin on my face happy.) Pretty and feral and grrr. Yes.





ETA: In fact, I've now set it as my wallpaper on my desktop at work.

Arrived home from Huntsville, about 11-ish.

Relaxed.

Made shrimp fried rice. (Realized how badly I need to go grocery shopping. Been putting it off for weeks. Except for purchases in little spurts here and there. Which takes up more time and probably money. Need to do a big grocery buy.)

Took about a three hour nap.

Kittens are driving me nuts.

They're bratty children. Climbing all over me. Trying to get on my desk. Trying to get people food. Climbing on Matt.

Just getting on fucking everything.

I don't want them to dislike water (makes it easier to bathe them if we need to) but I'm getting to the point of "we need a water gun," because they just don't learn. Especially Silver. She's hard headed as hell.



Work tomorrow.

I comfort myself with the fact that this is a 4 day week for me.

I'm sure I could keep tweaking it until the end of time...


It needs one more read through to check for any major gaffes in spelling or grammar.

And I'm having an OCD moment on the title.

Can't remember my thought processes for the one I chose. Though I'm certain it made sense to me at the time. It's not a bad title, necessarily, I'm just not entirely sure of it, anymore...

Already know where I'm going to submit it first...which is starting at the top.

I need to look up a couple of other markets in preparation for the rejection letter; I may do simultaneous submissions (if allowed) to the smaller ones.


~*~

Am also seriously thinking of taking tomorrow as a Personal Day.

It'd be my last available Personal Day until March 19th. But I still have at least 5 sick days and 11 vacation, so...

I could research some markets. Organize my filing cabinet. Find my missing image notebook... Sleep in...


I hope I'm not slammed with anything today.

For Bastille Day. (We appropriated cuisine for Cinco de Mayo this year, as well.)

It's all just an excuse to have different lunches brought in. We like to eat.


Here is today's menu:

Baguette sandwich with brie, caramelized apples, candied walnuts.

Croque monsieur sandwiches with gruyere cheese.

Nicoise salad (mixed greens, green beans, boiled egg, tomato, olive, mustard vinaigrette).

Fruit salad, seasonal.

Stuffed portobello mushrooms with cured ham, risotto rice, sundried tomatoes, herbs.

Caramelized lemon tarts, individual.



It will be nap time after lunch, I guarantee.