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When September Begins
Sep. 1st, 2025 10:17 amThere's a certain, not quite definable change when the year turns from August to September.
It must be more internal than external. The world doesn't shift that much in a single day, from 31st to 1st.
But the light feels different this morning. Brighter, distant, a touch colder. The air is softer, sweeter. The world more hushed (a highlight after yesterday's end of summer pool/birthday party bustle).
The ash trees are greener against the cobalt sky. The honey locust has already been shaking loose some of its pinnate leaves. I've left them lying in the front yard; they're turning gold in the scorch of the afternoon sunlight. The lemon balm is lush and green, the wild bergamot has gone leggy and the Drops of Jupiter is starting to don its purple blush in preparation for fall.
The equinox is just around the corner.
And I'm not ready for the descent into the dark.
I do love the autumn. I love the shift in the weather, the change of the leaves, green chili roasting, the accessibility of pumpkin spice and apple spice to feed my coffee and tea habits. I even like getting the yard and plants prepared for winter and future spring.
But I feel like I just climbed out of the dormant season. I feel like it was just spring. Fall can't be just around the corner, winter lurking behind it.
It doesn't help that winter has been a season of cat loss over the last five years. Our 14-year-old orange tabby on January 5th, 2021 and our 19-year-old grey grump on December 10th of 2024.
I've told the remaining two girls they have to keep chugging along for a while. They can't go anywhere this year. I need a buffer.
Also, they will be my last pets.
At least for a while. My heart needs a rest. As does my brain.
It's too hard trying to do much away from home when you have pets, especially as they get older. The girls are 16. I feel guilty for leaving them too long. And worried something will happen while I'm away. Which is partly why our upcoming trip to see family has been stressing me out. They'll be well looked after. Our neighbor is doing the bulk of the work and a friend is coming by once a day to give lunch and socialization/play.
I had been looking forward to this trip when we first planned it, over a year ago. It's been delayed three times, on account of house upkeep (a new roof our insurance kept giving us the run around about) and cat health (a flare of pancreatitis and inflammatory bowel back in the spring) and having to plan around the work schedules of two adults.
Now it's largely feeling like an obligation trip, but I'm hoping I can find pleasure in the slow travel and keep the cat mom worries and guilt at bay until we're back and I can settle into the coming autumn from the comfort of home.
It must be more internal than external. The world doesn't shift that much in a single day, from 31st to 1st.
But the light feels different this morning. Brighter, distant, a touch colder. The air is softer, sweeter. The world more hushed (a highlight after yesterday's end of summer pool/birthday party bustle).
The ash trees are greener against the cobalt sky. The honey locust has already been shaking loose some of its pinnate leaves. I've left them lying in the front yard; they're turning gold in the scorch of the afternoon sunlight. The lemon balm is lush and green, the wild bergamot has gone leggy and the Drops of Jupiter is starting to don its purple blush in preparation for fall.
The equinox is just around the corner.
And I'm not ready for the descent into the dark.
I do love the autumn. I love the shift in the weather, the change of the leaves, green chili roasting, the accessibility of pumpkin spice and apple spice to feed my coffee and tea habits. I even like getting the yard and plants prepared for winter and future spring.
But I feel like I just climbed out of the dormant season. I feel like it was just spring. Fall can't be just around the corner, winter lurking behind it.
It doesn't help that winter has been a season of cat loss over the last five years. Our 14-year-old orange tabby on January 5th, 2021 and our 19-year-old grey grump on December 10th of 2024.
I've told the remaining two girls they have to keep chugging along for a while. They can't go anywhere this year. I need a buffer.
Also, they will be my last pets.
At least for a while. My heart needs a rest. As does my brain.
It's too hard trying to do much away from home when you have pets, especially as they get older. The girls are 16. I feel guilty for leaving them too long. And worried something will happen while I'm away. Which is partly why our upcoming trip to see family has been stressing me out. They'll be well looked after. Our neighbor is doing the bulk of the work and a friend is coming by once a day to give lunch and socialization/play.
I had been looking forward to this trip when we first planned it, over a year ago. It's been delayed three times, on account of house upkeep (a new roof our insurance kept giving us the run around about) and cat health (a flare of pancreatitis and inflammatory bowel back in the spring) and having to plan around the work schedules of two adults.
Now it's largely feeling like an obligation trip, but I'm hoping I can find pleasure in the slow travel and keep the cat mom worries and guilt at bay until we're back and I can settle into the coming autumn from the comfort of home.
